Music as torture...

[fredbucket]

Members of PP have a dark side. This may be demonstrated, for example, by Malcolm's treatment of Sir P, Rob's demonic singing ability, and Davida's incomprehensible and pseudo-Freudian fascination with toy pianos.

So as a totally off-topic result of a unusually coherent discussion between some of the administrators, I would like to suggest the following topic for discussion.

Given the well known positive effects of music on the human mind, what about the opposite? If you had the power and means so to do, what musical torture would you devise to break even the most strong-willed of musicophiles?

My somewhat offbeat suggestion was to force people to listen to Rob singing sub-contrabass accompanied by HHH tweeting away on a sub-2' stop on an organ. Even the visual aspects would be enough - let alone the audio

Regards
Fred

[rob]

Members should be made aware that FredBucket plays the oboe and cor anglais. Need I say anymore? Except perhaps that thank god he doesn't play both at the same time. Although it might be possible since he has more than one orifice!

[fredbucket]

Members should be made aware that FredBucket plays the oboe and cor anglais. Need I say anymore? Except perhaps that thank god he doesn't play both at the same time. Although it might be possible since he has more than one orifice!

This is true, I must admit that Rob is correct about the oboe and cor anglais. What he doesn't know is that I also play the invisible Siberian nose-flute to a very acceptable standard.

With regard to his anatomical references I can say quite categorically that I only use one orifice, the same one as do others when playing the same instruments. However I can play both instruments at the same time using said orifice, although it is not something that really impresses my teacher at all. But then again, neither does my playing quite a bit of the time...

Another idea for musical torture - give Rob a piano...

Regards
Fred

[Arjuna]

Perhaps play a well liked piece of music with every third or fourth note out by a quarter tone.

[rob]

In a composition lesson a million years ago I took a Chopin Etude and changed all the octaves to sevenths. The result sounded like Messiaen! Some would think of that as torturing Chopin.

And for FredB, I neither own nor play a piano and have never claimed or particularly wanted to play the piano. Nevertheless I used to be able to play (after a fashion) a piano sonata and a group of preludes that I wrote when I was 13 or 14, but attempting that now would torture me let alone anyone listening.

[timgill]

First movement of the Moonlight Sonata with the melody transposed a semitone down always works a treat

[Arjuna]

In a composition lesson a million years ago I took a Chopin Etude and changed all the octaves to sevenths. The result sounded like Messiaen!

A MILLION YEARS!!!!!!!
If only you'd got it published back then.

[rob]

In a composition lesson a million years ago I took a Chopin Etude and changed all the octaves to sevenths. The result sounded like Messiaen!

A MILLION YEARS!!!!!!!
If only you'd got it published back then.

I'm very very old - although not as old as HHH...

[HullandHellandHalifax]

In a composition lesson a million years ago I took a Chopin Etude and changed all the octaves to sevenths. The result sounded like Messiaen!

A MILLION YEARS!!!!!!!
If only you'd got it published back then.

I'm very very old - although not as old as HHH...

thats very, very true but of course you must be aware that Rob has passed a certain age and started taking years off at each birthday. We are of course as usual straying off the point here.
Historically one of the best known tortures was Sorabji listening to performances of his music at less than half the required speed, hence his total ban on performances by aspirant Sorabjiphiles, for him that was the ultimate torture, perhaps for us too, imagine a work that should last two hours taking four hours ... AAaaaagggghhhh!!!!!!
regards
Brian
PS Am I glad that cage's 4'33" referred to minutes and seconds and not years and weeks.

[fredbucket]

Nevertheless I used to be able to play (after a fashion) a piano sonata and a group of preludes that I wrote when I was 13 or 14, but attempting that now would torture me let alone anyone listening.

Precisely my point

Regards
Fred

PS are your sonata and preludes in the public domain?