Musical puns, jokes, and teasers

Anything musical that will not fit into the above fora
soh choon wee
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Re: Musical puns, jokes, and teasers

Post by soh choon wee »

Thanks, it is Bliss. I read the portpuri in one of the programme notes years ago. Then somehow recently this pops up in my mind and i have been thinking for a few days whose concerto that is.
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Re: Musical puns, jokes, and teasers

Post by Timtin »

Here's a joke from a recent music question on the BBC's University Challenge quiz programme:-

For which instrument was Bach's Goldberg Variations originally written?

Answer given: Synthesizer.

Even the question master couldn't quite believe his ears!

I frequently get depressed at the appalling ignorance most students seem to have about
classical music, but this took that level of ignorance to new depths.
ilu
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Re: Musical puns, jokes, and teasers

Post by ilu »

Unfortunately, the ignorance of some students is a consequence of their lack of interest and their poor preparation. With such poor elements they do not have the capacity to respond, even to reason, with a certain level of intelligence.
Quo melius Illac
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Re: Musical puns, jokes, and teasers

Post by Timtin »

Well, it's that time of year when I get the urge to do another quiz.
The format is much the same as always.

Below is a list of ten composers' names in anagram form.

These are followed after a hyphen by one of their foibles, again
given in anagram form.

By foibles, I mean some personal characteristic, be it a phobia, a
fetish, or some other state of mind, which in some cases lead to
their deaths. Some composers are very famous, others less so.

Please note that this quiz is X-rated, but then some composers did
lead very colourful lives!

The composers' surnames appear alphabetically in the solutions. Any
errors in any of the questions or the solutions are unintentional.

This is an example of the format:-

0. Ok, wit freaks Tarzan. (9,8) - Intoxicate hoary utopias. (4-6,12)

The solution is:-

Frantisek Kotzwara - Auto-erotic asphyxiation.

This example is probably more difficult than those in the quiz.


1. Job hash manners. (8,6) - Spoil boats, ha-ha! (14)

2. Nectar knob run. (5,8) - In impure halo. (12)

3. Alas! Good ulcer. (5,8) - Cosh maims. (9)

4. Warm zooms, daft language. (8,7,6) - Goats cloy. (9)

5. Easier kit. (4,5) - Erect it, cynic! (12)

6. Arch snob or legend. (6,10) - A hip diatribe! Ok, ask! (17)

7. Brahms nocturne. (6,8) - Stayin' in. (8)

8. Relax! A band is nicer! (9.8) - Mimics sty. (9)

9. Wired char rang. (7,6) - Trim vastness. (12)

10. Rot, wreck, leap! (5,7) - Dim ass! (6)


Good luck!


PS The composer featured in No.2 had more than one foible.
The one given here isn't one that could be regarded as overly dodgy.

PPS If you're feeling at all down, why not check out the Wiki article
on how Frantisek Kotzwara met his demise?!
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Re: Musical puns, jokes, and teasers

Post by Timtin »

These are the solutions:-

1. Johannes Brahms - Thalassophobia.

2. Anton Bruckner - Numerophilia.

3. Carlo Gesualdo - Masochism.

4. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart - Scatology.

5. Erik Satie - Eccentricity.

6. Arnold Schoenberg - Triskaidekaphobia.

7. Robert Schumann - Insanity.

8. Alexander Scriabin - Mysticism.

9. Richard Wagner - Transvestism.

10. Peter Warlock - Sadism.

Anyone who thinks that modern-day rockers invented outrageous
behaviour should think again!
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Re: Musical puns, jokes, and teasers

Post by Timtin »

As it's approaching Christmas, here's another of my increasingly infrequent
quizzes, with the usual rules.
Ten anagrams which, when solved, link ten names. The question is, what
are the ten names, what is their link, and why might I, in particular, be
remotely interested in it?

1. Crab vomitories (6,8),
2. Harangued day (5,7),
3. The vegan anal hack (8,8),
4. Hell is rainily (7,6),
5. Event rottenly (7,6),
6. Hill oration cosh (7,8),
7. Hasten bogey (5,1'5),
8. Urea apple (4,5),
9. Imagines well (4,8),
10.Win large wretch (8,6).
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Re: Musical puns, jokes, and teasers

Post by Timtin »

The solutions to the quiz are as follows:-

1. Victor Ambroise
2. Haydn Augarde
3. Kathleen Cavanagh
4. Shirley Lilian
5. Everett Lynton
6. Horatio Nicholls
7. Betsy O'Hagen
8. Paul Paree
9. Gene Williams
10.Lawrence Wright

Lawrence Wright was an excellent composer of songs at the start on the
20th century, and he's of special interest to me, because he was from my
home city of Leicester in the English Midlands.

He had his own music publishing business, and was clearly a very good business
man, apart from his musical skills.

As with other British composers of light music, he seemed to use various
pseudonyms, and the above list includes all the ones he used when publishing
his own music. From what I can tell, he used Horatio Nicholls more than any
of the others.

Curiously, the word 'oration' appears in that particular name:- hORATIONicholls.
soh choon wee
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Re: Musical puns, jokes, and teasers

Post by soh choon wee »

I need some help to secure two names. Both persons are pianist, A is the teacher of B.

Pianist A was giving a concert, and half way through, he had a stroke, and started to play out of sense....... Pianist B, a student of Pianist A, beside being a fully trained neurologist, but also an accomplished pianist himself, was at the concert, went up stage to help.... The concert was terminated half way....

I read this some time late 1990s, or early 2000s..... seems that it was in USA, or UK.....

Can someone provide some information? Thanks
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Re: Musical puns, jokes, and teasers

Post by bingo »

soh choon wee wrote: Fri Apr 30, 2021 1:10 am I need some help to secure two names. Both persons are pianist, A is the teacher of B.

Pianist A was giving a concert, and half way through, he had a stroke, and started to play out of sense....... Pianist B, a student of Pianist A, beside being a fully trained neurologist, but also an accomplished pianist himself, was at the concert, went up stage to help.... The concert was terminated half way....

I read this some time late 1990s, or early 2000s..... seems that it was in USA, or UK.....

Can someone provide some information? Thanks
May not be a complete match,but Alexei Sultanov had a series of strokes, at least one during a concert.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexei_Su ... _and_death
soh choon wee
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Re: Musical puns, jokes, and teasers

Post by soh choon wee »

Thanks Bingo, but it wasnt Alexei Sultanov .

I can also recall it was a solo recital (and not a concerto). It seems to be Schumann and Brahms that was played, and in the first half of the concert. The schumann was terrible, but still can pull through in one piece, the full stroke come when Brahms was being played, where everything is fragmented.....
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