Musical puns, jokes, and teasers

[Timtin]

As a fan of this type of nonsense, I thought that it might be worth starting
a new thread (hopefully with a bit more longevity in it than my previous
efforts in this department!) so that folk can share anything/everything
daft that they can think of, or come across, which might amuse others.
Consider it a sort of jokes/puzzles page of an otherwise rather lofty
publication, if you like.

To get the ball rolling, here is an example of what I have in mind.

Below are 10 cross-word type clues and the solution to each is the
surname of a composer which the answer sounds like.

1. religious work in one particular key
2. popular paper size in reverse
3. over-balance the thing
4. posh opposite of on
5. mistake by snooker official
6. stand on your patellas my boy
7. eye infection round the waist
8. manipulate
9. conceal upon the top of
10. tv bloke

The answer to No.1 is Massenet (sounds like Mass in A).

[fredbucket]

The answer to No.2 is Fauré (A4 in reverse...)

Regards
Fred

[rob]

No 3 is Tippett
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Tippett
nb in the UK the 'e' is this name is commonly pronounced as an 'i'

No 4 is Orff
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carl_Orff
nb in the UK the upper classes are commonly believed to pronounce 'off' as 'orff'
curiously, if the pronounciation 'orft' is used it denotes very humble working class origins

No 6 is I assume Nielsen
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carl_Nielsen
however the pronounciation of 'Kneel Son!' doesn't quite match the UK pronounciation of Nielsen,
the 'e' being pronounced as a 'schwa': http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schwa

[fredbucket]

If the pronounciation 'orft' is used it denotes very humble working class origins

How do you pronounce it?

[rob]

If the pronounciation 'orft' is used it denotes very humble working class origins

How do you pronounce it?

It would depend on the person to whom I am speaking!!!

[HullandHellandHalifax]

If the pronounciation 'orft' is used it denotes very humble working class origins

How do you pronounce it?

It would depend on the person to whom I am speaking!!!

yerrr-like know what ye mean bruv!!

[Timtin]

It would depend on the person to whom I am speaking!!!

I'm probably on very dangerous ground here, but as this is the conditional case,
shouldn't the sentence read:-

It would depend on the person to whom I were speaking!!!

Please tell me to shuv orft if I'm wrong.

Btw, because the answer to No.5 is far from obvious, here it is:-

Rachmaninov ('Rack man in off' (chap who puts the reds into the triangular rack)
then he himself plays a bad shot and goes in off.)

The others aren't that obscure, although for No.7 I should have written:-
eyelid infection round the waist

[passthesalt]

No 9 is Haydn, right? And No 10 would beTelemann.

[Timtin]

So far so good.....
Two left to get, then why not try these:-

1. honest
2. bacterium
3. doggy sound
4. wordlessly sing twelfth letter
5. stream
6. inventory
7. inflamed
8. obscure lacey's partner
9. reverses
10. only just requires to pay back

[Nogbert]

And, to complete the first set, 7 = Steibelt and 8 = Handel. Now to tackle the next lot...

Jo